Lessons from Goat Reconciliation

Relational wisdom from a backlogged reading list.

My kids’ slow transition from school-year to summer coupled with a bunch of travel meant that I had been struggling with fractured work attention for some time.¹ Fast forward to yesterday, when my kids began their camps and I finally had the chance to enter into the flow of deep work.²

Among the many things I was eager to get to was a backlogged list of academic articles I’m always collecting. On top of my pile was one titled “Reconciliation in Domestic Goats.” No, I do not remember why I put this in my “must-read articles” list, and yes, I was oddly excited to have this be my re-entry into work.³ When your brain is summer-fried, reading about goat drama counts as intellectual stimulation.

Just take the first sentence of the article: “The aim of this study was to test whether domestic goals (Capra hircus) reconciled after experimentally induced conflicts.” I love academia.

The Questions You May Now Be Asking

Perhaps you now have some questions—I know I did. Questions like:

• Are goats particularly conflictual?

• Do goats hold grudges?

• What constitutes “experimentally induced conflict” for goats, anyways—did researchers hide their favorite hay and then document ensuing barnyard drama?

• And what can I possibly learn from goat beef that will help me navigate my own relationships?

Good news: science has some answers. Even better news: you’re about to become surprisingly invested in goat relationship dynamics.

Animal Reconciliation Research

The study of animal reconciliation has a decades-long history. And while understanding animal behavior matters for its own sake, there’s also something quite useful about learning how other social creatures handle conflict, especially because we humans seem to struggle with it so spectacularly.

You might already recognize the name Frans de Waal, the Dutch-American primatologist who brought us gems like Chimpanzee Politics. That book was the culmination of a years-long deep dive into the social world of one of the largest colonies of captive chimpanzees. It reads like a soap opera, but with more fur. De Waal also pioneered research on reconciliation, defining it as those conciliatory behaviors that help animals repair their social bonds after conflict.

Primates, as our closest social relatives, have gotten most of the attention of animal reconciliation, while other animals are largely ignored. But it turns out that domestic goats, like primates, live in cohesive, hierarchical groups and apparently also have relationship drama.

Time to channel our inner barnyard animal and get curious about how goats fight and make up.

How to Start a Fight Between Goats (you know, for science)

This study set out to explore what reconciliation looks like in goats was conducted by animal researcher Gabriele Schino at Istituto di Science e Tecnologie della Cognizione. The methodology was simple: Schino took seven female goats who had been living together their whole lives, paired them off, and gave each duo not quite enough oats to eat out of a too-small basin.

The combination of food scarcity and forced proximity usually led to conflict. Basically, Schino created the goat equivalent of a potluck where there’s only one brownie left and two people eyeing it hungrily. Then he sat back to document the barnyard drama that ensued.

In case you haven’t frequented many goat farms, here’s what you should know about goat conflict: it involves head-to-body butting, horn-to-horn clashing, and the occasional bite. And here’s what you should know about goat “I’m sorries:” they involve muzzle-to-head contact, gentle body touching, and grooming. (If you ask me, this seems sweeter than a lot of human apologies.)

So yes, goats fight. And yes, they also make up.

This study also showed that goats have those fragile post-conflict truces where the likelihood of renewed fighting actually goes up even after the initial conflict is over. And it revealed that goat reconciliation behaviors genuinely reduce victims’ anxiety and lower arousal.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

As Schino summarized, “If post-conflict reconciliation functions to repair damaged social relationships and reduce the anxiety and arousal caused by the conflict, then it may have evolved several times along with sociality in order to help resolve the inevitable frictions associated with group life.”

Translation: goat reconciliation allows goats to move past conflict and regain social connection—even though it’s not always easy to do.

What Does This Mean for Those of Us Without Horns?

You may (reasonably) be wondering how this all relates to humans. Well, first of all, I find something oddly motivational about knowing goats can reconcile. I mean, if barnyard animals can figure out how to make up after a food fight, surely we can manage it after disagreeing about whose turn it is to do dishes.

And the finding about renewed conflict risk going up even after reconciliation? We can all call to mind regional conflicts where a cease-fire seems terrifyingly fragile. But most of us also know that post-argument fragility personally. Those moments when you've technically made up but everything still feels a little tender, like you're walking on eggshells made of leftover hurt feelings. Yes, goats, like us, have to wade their way through fragile pauses in conflict, leaning on reconciliation behaviors to get to a more enduring peace.

And finally, the fact that reconciliation genuinely reduces anxiety and helps restore connection isn't just goat wisdom—it's a reminder that the awkward work of making up isn't just nice to do, it's necessary for our nervous systems.

So the next time you're avoiding that uncomfortable conversation or putting off reaching out after a conflict, remember: even goats know that staying connected is worth a little awkwardness.

And if goats can figure out how to nuzzle their way back to friendship after a head-butting match, maybe we can too.

Found this useful? Share it with a friend who needs to know that goats are better at apologizing than most humans. And hit the heart if you think more people should know that reconciliation involves strategic nuzzling—whether you're a goat or a human.

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Behind the Scenes: How I Find Interesting Academic Papers

You know that moment when someone asks how you ended up reading about goat reconciliation at 7 AM on a Tuesday, and you realize you have no good answer? Me too;)

I've written before about how busy people manage to read actual books while juggling real life (you can check that out here). But academic papers? That's a whole different beast. These aren't breezy beach reads—they're the literary equivalent of eating vegetables. Necessary, probably good for you, but requiring a special kind of commitment and the ability to spot the gems hidden among titles that sound like they were generated by someone who wants to prove how smart they are rather than someone who wants to entertain you.

So, how do I end up with research treasures like "Reconciliation in Domestic Goats" in my must-read pile? Here's my completely unscientific method: