As in, what are the effects of burdening someone else with your secret? Or do you mean how the burden of you carrying a secret affects relationships beyond the one that the secret is about? These are great questions to tackle, thank you!
Thank you for sharing this personal experience and I am eager to check out your Substack. You might really get a lot out of the Michael Slepian book I mentioned--he also has a personal story that DNA evidence exposed. So does writer, Danny Shapiro, whose book Inheritance is a hugely powerful read.
Read Inheritance, which didn't quite resonate with my experience, but definitely encouraged me to write my own story which is more complex due to multiple generations of secrets.
I thought this was a really interesting post. Who knew keeping secrets could be so burdensome? Makes revealing something as heavy as infidelity all the more fraught. Am I doing this because it’s right or because I’m tired of carrying it?
So interesting Yael. I am planning on including some intermittent essays in the new year on the "fiction of family" about novels that portray so many of the complicated stuff of families. Any good fiction recs on the weight of secret keeping within families?
Chiming in here to recommend The Family Outing by Jessi Hempel. It's actually non-fiction (memoir) but definitely presents the weight of secret-keeping within families! https://bookshop.org/a/87366/9780063079021
I am interested in what I imagine is a second order consequence of secret keeping: its effect on other relationships,
And the burden of prolonged justification
Required to keep a secret
As in, what are the effects of burdening someone else with your secret? Or do you mean how the burden of you carrying a secret affects relationships beyond the one that the secret is about? These are great questions to tackle, thank you!
The burden of carrying the secret and its effects on other relationships beyond the secret is about
My family history is full of secrets. Totally dysfunctional. The layers of deception and betrayal might put Shakespeare to shame😂. I can tell you that secrets make lives messier. DNA testing revealed so much that had been hidden for generations. It's probably why I'm a psychotherapist. You can read more. If you dare at Secrets From My Twilight Zone https://open.substack.com/pub/johnmoyermedlpcncc/p/secrets-from-the-twilight-zone?r=3p5dh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thank you for sharing this personal experience and I am eager to check out your Substack. You might really get a lot out of the Michael Slepian book I mentioned--he also has a personal story that DNA evidence exposed. So does writer, Danny Shapiro, whose book Inheritance is a hugely powerful read.
Read Inheritance, which didn't quite resonate with my experience, but definitely encouraged me to write my own story which is more complex due to multiple generations of secrets.
I thought this was a really interesting post. Who knew keeping secrets could be so burdensome? Makes revealing something as heavy as infidelity all the more fraught. Am I doing this because it’s right or because I’m tired of carrying it?
So interesting Yael. I am planning on including some intermittent essays in the new year on the "fiction of family" about novels that portray so many of the complicated stuff of families. Any good fiction recs on the weight of secret keeping within families?
Chiming in here to recommend The Family Outing by Jessi Hempel. It's actually non-fiction (memoir) but definitely presents the weight of secret-keeping within families! https://bookshop.org/a/87366/9780063079021
Ooh, thank you Abby! I remember hearing about that one but have not read it. Thanks!