Thanks for this article, Yael!! What are your thoughts on the 5 Love Languages, and how that may (or may not) apply to gift giving processes? Happy holidays! :)
Ah that's such a great question! The 5 love languages were developed non-scientifically, but there is some research showing they have validity and utility in helping couples know themselves and their partners better. So I think it's a brilliant move to pick a gift that matches to your loved one's primary love language. Thanks for this awesome question!
Thanks, Dr. Schonbrun! You're welcome! What is your "love language?" Mine is quality time and physical touch, while my husband appreciates words of affirmations and acts of service. So funny how people are different! (Although once I became a busy working mom I felt like I appreciate ALL the GIFTS! Haha).
..... I hope that more researchers can demonstrate the validity of the 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman) so that we can incorporate into couples counseling interventions more readily. Thanks again for your response!
Whoops, I thought my comment had showed up twice so I deleted it. What I had written was that YES, there should be more research done on love languages, particularly because it's a concept so widely used in popular culture and in therapy. What little has been done is on really limited samples. And yet, I personally find it a helpful concept! I feel loved through at least 4 of the love languages (I don't really have a dominant one, but the one that doesn't really fill my cup if gift receiving).
Thanks for this! You're right, given how much we reference love languages in pop culture and the fact that it seems to help people understand and communicate better, it owuld be great to see more research in our field. Small samples research, eh? SCEDs?
...and good to know, I won't send you any gifts, haha. ;) Hope you have a restful holiday!
It's just not that many studies (given how omnipresent the theory is in popular culture), and what has been done does mostly have small samples. But again, it does provide some suggestion that there is validity and that familiarity with the LL can be helpful for relationship maintenance. Can I admit, though, I don't know what SCEDs means? I even looked it up but I'm pretty sure you don't mean South Carolina Economic Development School (haha!). Happy holidays to you, Kay!
Great article. Many of the issues discussed made me think about Imago whose main elements involve non-judgemental listening, acknowledgement, validation and empathy. Like you mentioned in another article, everyone wants to feel heard and understood. Sounds like to made a valiant effort to approach her from a curiosity stance, to understand her history and its effect on the feelings behind her angry stance. When I was experiencing issues with my mother, I read the book Difficult Conversations and found it very helpful.
I appreciate this piece and the suggestion that we override the wish to avoid difficult conversations. Avoidance keeps things quieter, but lonely. Another big piece is how the confrontational information is delivered. Maybe confront in a non confrontational way. Say the hard thing in soft way and increase the chances of having a good outcome. Thanks for this.
Hi Walter! What an awesome question--and a truly complicated and important one. I'm going to attempt to get to it in a newsletter soon! Thank you so much for submitting it!
Thanks for this article, Yael!! What are your thoughts on the 5 Love Languages, and how that may (or may not) apply to gift giving processes? Happy holidays! :)
Ah that's such a great question! The 5 love languages were developed non-scientifically, but there is some research showing they have validity and utility in helping couples know themselves and their partners better. So I think it's a brilliant move to pick a gift that matches to your loved one's primary love language. Thanks for this awesome question!
Thanks, Dr. Schonbrun! You're welcome! What is your "love language?" Mine is quality time and physical touch, while my husband appreciates words of affirmations and acts of service. So funny how people are different! (Although once I became a busy working mom I felt like I appreciate ALL the GIFTS! Haha).
..... I hope that more researchers can demonstrate the validity of the 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman) so that we can incorporate into couples counseling interventions more readily. Thanks again for your response!
Whoops, I thought my comment had showed up twice so I deleted it. What I had written was that YES, there should be more research done on love languages, particularly because it's a concept so widely used in popular culture and in therapy. What little has been done is on really limited samples. And yet, I personally find it a helpful concept! I feel loved through at least 4 of the love languages (I don't really have a dominant one, but the one that doesn't really fill my cup if gift receiving).
Thanks for this! You're right, given how much we reference love languages in pop culture and the fact that it seems to help people understand and communicate better, it owuld be great to see more research in our field. Small samples research, eh? SCEDs?
...and good to know, I won't send you any gifts, haha. ;) Hope you have a restful holiday!
It's just not that many studies (given how omnipresent the theory is in popular culture), and what has been done does mostly have small samples. But again, it does provide some suggestion that there is validity and that familiarity with the LL can be helpful for relationship maintenance. Can I admit, though, I don't know what SCEDs means? I even looked it up but I'm pretty sure you don't mean South Carolina Economic Development School (haha!). Happy holidays to you, Kay!
Yael- I love this frame for gifting!
Isn't it neat? Thanks Kathryn!
Great article. Many of the issues discussed made me think about Imago whose main elements involve non-judgemental listening, acknowledgement, validation and empathy. Like you mentioned in another article, everyone wants to feel heard and understood. Sounds like to made a valiant effort to approach her from a curiosity stance, to understand her history and its effect on the feelings behind her angry stance. When I was experiencing issues with my mother, I read the book Difficult Conversations and found it very helpful.
I appreciate this piece and the suggestion that we override the wish to avoid difficult conversations. Avoidance keeps things quieter, but lonely. Another big piece is how the confrontational information is delivered. Maybe confront in a non confrontational way. Say the hard thing in soft way and increase the chances of having a good outcome. Thanks for this.
Hi Walter! What an awesome question--and a truly complicated and important one. I'm going to attempt to get to it in a newsletter soon! Thank you so much for submitting it!