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All of this applies to how we can be better listeners as parents when our children are expressing themselves, but I especially gravitated toward the positive intention piece. This could go a long way in parents and kids trying to listen and understand each other! Thanks for writing such a great piece!

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Aw, thank you Emily!!! And I agree 100% about the application of these practices with our kids!

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Apr 10Liked by Yael Schonbrun

Also, the positive intention component made me think of your previous piece, about the Black woman who was able to see the humanity in a KKK leader. She must have had a really admirable ability to see and respect the humanity of everyone.

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The positive intention piece is really special, isn't it? So hard to be able to see the good in others--especially others behaving badly--but so powerful to do. I got to interview the journalist who wrote a book about Ann Atwater and CP Ellis and he said Ann was just a hugely remarkable human, so full of love and acceptance.

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Apr 10Liked by Yael Schonbrun

So the comprehension component comes as a result of the paying attention component + being aware of the possibility/probability of not fully understanding + asking clarifying or confirmatory questions? Here’s what I think you mean, is that actually what you mean? Is that right?

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Yes!!! This is so perfectly put. I do think comprehension (i.e, understanding) is its own thing, but it relies heavily on other factors, exactly as you're noting. Most of us take our own understanding for granted, but it's really such a complex process. And, at the end of the day, it's less about whether you as a listener believe you understood and more about whether the speaker you're listening to FEELS understood, isn't it?

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