I loved this post, and the research folded perfectly into a draft I was working on around how to shift your mind to feel hopeful in the next moment of a tense interaction (instead of listening to your mind and believing it's predictions). It comes out Monday and I quoted you and linked back to here! I'm new to quoting/referencing other substack authors, so open to feedback or if that was ok. I enjoyed the synergies of our perspectives :)
I've read that book, and some of Kahneman's other work. (In fact, I referred to it in a post I just finished that will come out in a couple of weeks!) It was a while ago, and I hadn't thought to apply it to relationships so clearly. This post confirms that my tendency to approach conflict through questions is a good instinct--though I definitely also fall into the trap of making assumptions about how well I know someone or understand their motivations! Being human is a challenge.
As it relates to The Illusion of Understanding, it reminds me a quote from Nassim Taleb's Black Swan "We tend to use knowledge as therapy", which I thought would give you a laugh. He goes on to say we build narratives after the fact to explain events that are inherently unpredictable, but we try to find a patterns nonetheless.
I loved this post, and the research folded perfectly into a draft I was working on around how to shift your mind to feel hopeful in the next moment of a tense interaction (instead of listening to your mind and believing it's predictions). It comes out Monday and I quoted you and linked back to here! I'm new to quoting/referencing other substack authors, so open to feedback or if that was ok. I enjoyed the synergies of our perspectives :)
Oh my goodness, yes, please quote me anytime, it's a huge honor! I'm looking forward to seeing your post tomorrow. Thanks so much, Gwendolyn!
I've read that book, and some of Kahneman's other work. (In fact, I referred to it in a post I just finished that will come out in a couple of weeks!) It was a while ago, and I hadn't thought to apply it to relationships so clearly. This post confirms that my tendency to approach conflict through questions is a good instinct--though I definitely also fall into the trap of making assumptions about how well I know someone or understand their motivations! Being human is a challenge.
As it relates to The Illusion of Understanding, it reminds me a quote from Nassim Taleb's Black Swan "We tend to use knowledge as therapy", which I thought would give you a laugh. He goes on to say we build narratives after the fact to explain events that are inherently unpredictable, but we try to find a patterns nonetheless.