I love that “have fun together” is at the top of this list! Fun is *way* underprioritized in all aspects of adult life (including relationships), IMHO.
I could not agree more! I just joined journalist/author Catherine Price's January "fun-tervention" for this exact reason. Check out her Substack How To Feel Alive if you're interested in doing it, too! Here's to having more fun--including with our partners!
Thanks for doing this great work! I am pretty excited for your new work in the Psychologist Off the Clock podcast. I love the recap section of your articles where you reinstate all the main takeaways in a good listicle.
Apart from the behaviorism school, perhaps you can touch on other areas of psychology that emphasize relationships. Maybe how childhood wounding affects adult relationships and forays into psychoanalytic principles and defense mechanisms that play out in relationships. Chief among them are projection and projective identification.
I know that you refer to Carl Rogers and Jack Kornfield a lot. I'd love to see your reviews of their books at any point in time.
I am also loving the work of Alain de Botton in The School of Life. His videos and books take out the ideas embedded in the psychoanalytic school and translate them into simple, prose-like language. The many ideas that reverberate in his work are the fact that we are still children in many ways, and looking for an imperfect partner that can give insights into their madness is key to a successful relationship.
It'd be great if you can review his books on love and relationships with your own wisdom added in. There are many prose-like insights tucked in it that can be complemented well with your vital pieces of relationship wisdom.
also The Art of Loving – Erich Fromm book is wonderful.
One interesting video of his that I keep coming back to is the "17 Secrets to a Successful Relationship." I am providing the link here.
Apart from science books, there are other great relationship books coming out that you may want to look at.
"How to Talk about Love: An Ancient Guide for Modern Lovers"
Yung Pueblo's upcoming book, "How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion"
maybe compiling other books that are not science-base but offering good wisdom on how to love better would be fun.
I am just starting to read your post in chronological order, so not sure if you have covered the Gottman principles and books, love to know your thoughts on their work as well.
The recent Being Well podcast episode by Rick and Forrest Hanson, "Attachment Masterclass: The Art and Science of Connection | Being Well," compiled all their great insights on adult relationships linked to attachment theory. The episode is so great! I am providing the link here.
Oh boy, what an incredible comment, thank you so much for this. I love your suggestion to review Jack Kornfeld and Carl Rogers' books, and I am also a huge fan of Gottman, Alain de Botton, Erich Fromm, and Rick Hanson, though I haven't read all of their books (or seen these videos). I'll be checking these out and will plan to do a book review! Keep commenting please, I love your insights here!
Ah, I love this point--that space between the fight and being back to your baseline connection is so uncomfortable. And it often is a really vulnerable period to fall back into fighting. I'll definitely get a newsletter about this in the works, thanks for this awesome question!
Always #10. He is very particular about a “right way” to do things, and I have very strong opinions about the “right way” to parent, so we often need to remember this. It’s what happens when two very stubborn, opinionated control freaks marry each other!
I love that “have fun together” is at the top of this list! Fun is *way* underprioritized in all aspects of adult life (including relationships), IMHO.
I could not agree more! I just joined journalist/author Catherine Price's January "fun-tervention" for this exact reason. Check out her Substack How To Feel Alive if you're interested in doing it, too! Here's to having more fun--including with our partners!
I could always use a fun-tervention so I’m running over to check it out now 💨
Appreciate the rec...I think I’m about to go down a rabbit hole with her work!
Thanks for doing this great work! I am pretty excited for your new work in the Psychologist Off the Clock podcast. I love the recap section of your articles where you reinstate all the main takeaways in a good listicle.
Apart from the behaviorism school, perhaps you can touch on other areas of psychology that emphasize relationships. Maybe how childhood wounding affects adult relationships and forays into psychoanalytic principles and defense mechanisms that play out in relationships. Chief among them are projection and projective identification.
I know that you refer to Carl Rogers and Jack Kornfield a lot. I'd love to see your reviews of their books at any point in time.
I am also loving the work of Alain de Botton in The School of Life. His videos and books take out the ideas embedded in the psychoanalytic school and translate them into simple, prose-like language. The many ideas that reverberate in his work are the fact that we are still children in many ways, and looking for an imperfect partner that can give insights into their madness is key to a successful relationship.
It'd be great if you can review his books on love and relationships with your own wisdom added in. There are many prose-like insights tucked in it that can be complemented well with your vital pieces of relationship wisdom.
also The Art of Loving – Erich Fromm book is wonderful.
One interesting video of his that I keep coming back to is the "17 Secrets to a Successful Relationship." I am providing the link here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak4j5pVHDGg
Apart from science books, there are other great relationship books coming out that you may want to look at.
"How to Talk about Love: An Ancient Guide for Modern Lovers"
Yung Pueblo's upcoming book, "How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion"
maybe compiling other books that are not science-base but offering good wisdom on how to love better would be fun.
I am just starting to read your post in chronological order, so not sure if you have covered the Gottman principles and books, love to know your thoughts on their work as well.
The recent Being Well podcast episode by Rick and Forrest Hanson, "Attachment Masterclass: The Art and Science of Connection | Being Well," compiled all their great insights on adult relationships linked to attachment theory. The episode is so great! I am providing the link here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha0hfK9QWR4
Oh boy, what an incredible comment, thank you so much for this. I love your suggestion to review Jack Kornfeld and Carl Rogers' books, and I am also a huge fan of Gottman, Alain de Botton, Erich Fromm, and Rick Hanson, though I haven't read all of their books (or seen these videos). I'll be checking these out and will plan to do a book review! Keep commenting please, I love your insights here!
I find it so hard to handle that weird space when you want to be done fighting but you aren’t back to loving yet. I’d like some tools for that.
Ah, I love this point--that space between the fight and being back to your baseline connection is so uncomfortable. And it often is a really vulnerable period to fall back into fighting. I'll definitely get a newsletter about this in the works, thanks for this awesome question!
Always #10. He is very particular about a “right way” to do things, and I have very strong opinions about the “right way” to parent, so we often need to remember this. It’s what happens when two very stubborn, opinionated control freaks marry each other!
Ah, I so relate to this, Laura!!
#10 is something I have to remind myself often.
Me, too on #10!